life in a petri dish.

i had closed off the previous post with the words " what do you choose?"

for some reason the previous post kept bugging me. last 5 days,my thoughts kept going round all over trying to figure out what was disturbing me.

yesterday i kind of got an understanding as to situation, and the question which came up was 'does one have a choice?'

i recollect reading asimov's 'human brain' when i was 15, and getting excited about endocrinology.
i recollect reading pershing's "zen and art of motorcycle maintaenance' when i was 21 and not understanding any thing.still dont understand what he was trying to say.
i recollect reading zukov's "dancing wu-li masters" at 22 and kind of getting excited about phyics and religion.
i recollect reading capra's "tao of physics" at 22 same reaction.
i recollect trying to read things written by carlos castaneda.

i recollect reading herrigel's "zen and the art of archery" when i think i was about 22. created a massive impression on me, used the book to improve my game of cricket. and i did get to play opening bat for my college team!

why have i mentioned all these books, which seem to have played some parts in my life? i was not looking for them in the bookshops nor was i specifically inclined to read them. just to highlight the fact i stumbled on to all these books at different peoples houses. i was more of a fiction kind of chap. babes and bullets kind of stuff.

i feel , it was just that i was ment to meet people who had these books and i was ment to read 'em books. these books have changed what has been filled into my mind. quantam physics and spirituality! like someone said " who woulda tunk it?"

recently came across a quote from mark twain "i do not have a single original though, nor have i come across an orignal thought now will i come across an orignal thought if i live for 500 years" or something along these lines...

did i choose to be with the people who had these book? or was it ment to be? was it that i had to get these bits of information into my head for some reason? not that i am very worried about the answers to these questions.

were these choices which are made without me being aware of the same?

recently come across some books by osho, and also have been going through certain changes in the way i have been thinking and feeling about people. where these also choices which i made?

is it that we are sleeping and totally unaware of what is happening to and around us? or is it that something is guiding us in our journey?

i wonder what the bacteria growing in a petri dish think of the ceiling lights in the lab. stars?