middle path : deep impact

we let external activities impact us because we are connected to the past or the future.

something which i have observed in myself is that i used to either be in the past or be in the future.

about the past, nothing can be done, it is just information of events which one has gone through. and which you will use when you think, information which you need like your name, where you stay, your nationality etc . other than that it does not serve any purpose.

when you analyse or when you teach , you are coming in from the past.

being in the future, we build expectations. and when these are not fullfilled, the feeling of being wronged will be moved into your past and then you keep juicing this thought, enjoying the fact that you are miserable and place the responsibilty of your current emotional state on something (or someone) which has happened in the past.

we get stuck again and again in the same cycle. the future, nothing can be done.

vipassana,witnessing or whatever you want to call it ,is the path. the great masters of the past have talked about it.

one method which can be used for being in the moment and which i have seen working is being with your breath. i came across this wonderful concept from naina ,she had come across this during her explorations of spirituality, listening to people expound on the theories of the old masters.

simply put, you just watch your breath moving in and out of your body.

osho talks of 4 points which you can observe when you breath, the breath moving in, a movement when there is a pause/gap of no activity before you exhale, then you start exhaling and then again a pause/gap of no activity before the inhalation starts again.

when you are being with your breath, you will observe all your actions, you will be able to observe your thoughts as it comes. and a couple of other things happen to you which you can figure out yourself when you do this.

i have seen, when you are in this state, creativity bursting out, joy, happiness and love. above all a strange kind of awareness, as if you are watching yourself from outside.

got to tell this, being with your breath is no easy task. you persist and persist and one day without effort it will happen for you. i am still in the presisting state and already feeling good things!

when you are in the present, you are just being with the event. not analysing, not imprinting your "wisdom" onto the flow of events. i think it was osho who said that, even by observing that a rose is beautiful, you have filtered your interaction with the rose by using your past learning of what is beautiful. even in that tiny instant of making a judgement you have moved out of the present into your past.

the only path i can see is the middle path, and that is being in the present.
since i have no ideas as to what buddha ment by the middle path, i would like to think that he ment the path of being in the present. the middle path, the path between the past and the future.

be in bliss.

(ps: this entire note is derived because i have been dwelling into my past. this amount of my time has now moved into the past.)

life in a petri dish.

i had closed off the previous post with the words " what do you choose?"

for some reason the previous post kept bugging me. last 5 days,my thoughts kept going round all over trying to figure out what was disturbing me.

yesterday i kind of got an understanding as to situation, and the question which came up was 'does one have a choice?'

i recollect reading asimov's 'human brain' when i was 15, and getting excited about endocrinology.
i recollect reading pershing's "zen and art of motorcycle maintaenance' when i was 21 and not understanding any thing.still dont understand what he was trying to say.
i recollect reading zukov's "dancing wu-li masters" at 22 and kind of getting excited about phyics and religion.
i recollect reading capra's "tao of physics" at 22 same reaction.
i recollect trying to read things written by carlos castaneda.

i recollect reading herrigel's "zen and the art of archery" when i think i was about 22. created a massive impression on me, used the book to improve my game of cricket. and i did get to play opening bat for my college team!

why have i mentioned all these books, which seem to have played some parts in my life? i was not looking for them in the bookshops nor was i specifically inclined to read them. just to highlight the fact i stumbled on to all these books at different peoples houses. i was more of a fiction kind of chap. babes and bullets kind of stuff.

i feel , it was just that i was ment to meet people who had these books and i was ment to read 'em books. these books have changed what has been filled into my mind. quantam physics and spirituality! like someone said " who woulda tunk it?"

recently came across a quote from mark twain "i do not have a single original though, nor have i come across an orignal thought now will i come across an orignal thought if i live for 500 years" or something along these lines...

did i choose to be with the people who had these book? or was it ment to be? was it that i had to get these bits of information into my head for some reason? not that i am very worried about the answers to these questions.

were these choices which are made without me being aware of the same?

recently come across some books by osho, and also have been going through certain changes in the way i have been thinking and feeling about people. where these also choices which i made?

is it that we are sleeping and totally unaware of what is happening to and around us? or is it that something is guiding us in our journey?

i wonder what the bacteria growing in a petri dish think of the ceiling lights in the lab. stars?

whose game do you chose to play?

a hypothetical situation.

what if you are faced with or meet two teachers, who have similar thoughts and goals, but use different methods to reach there?

what triggered of this question? a friend of mine, was intensely contemplating the above situation, and was trying to figure out what was wrong with one of the process.

i was one with my friends thoughts, listening intently. could not help out my friend at that time, as i had no thoughts nor did i feel strongly either way about the subject.

then at a time, when there was not too much clutter in my being, a few words just popped up....funny enough the words were " does it matter?" what you are doing is, you are playing with the guy who owns the ball, and when you play with guy who owns the ball, you play by his rules.

your choice is only which game you choose to play.

or you can choose to get yourself a ball, and get into an activity of getting people to play with your ball, and by your rules . (note the choice of the word, activity not action)

most of the time it would seem that you are just choosing who to play with, and a few of us have the courage to start our own game with our own ball and our own rules.

long run, nothing matters, but enjoying whichever game you chose to play.

what do you choose?